Did you ever get the feeling that no matter what you did it would never feel like Christmas? All this season I've tried to catch that Christmas feeling. Yet, as I sat at the doorway to Christmas, on the eve before the celebration of our saviors birth, and pondered what I was missing, I could not find a place within that could, nor would give me that peace that I have come to feel so many times past. There have been scant occasions where it may seem that it is Christmas. However, nothing really set the entire mood for me. To be sure, I did feel something of the season after watching the ritual Charley Brown special on TV. The "Hark the herald angels sing" and the jazzy "Peanuts " theme songs seem to lighten spirits. But nothing really helped that Christmas spirit to stick. This year even my voice rang silent from the choir. How sad is it that I don't even sing in the choir for Christmas because I feel not the spirit of Christmas?
Christmas morning rolled in early. And I wish that I was still in my "Gown and Cap" when All five children crowded round our bed. So at 5:30 our children dragged us out and down to the tree. As they get older there is less to put together late at night after all else has retired, and they seem to open the presents far to quickly to enjoy their faces. Later in the day Jonna takes me aside and tells me we need things from Walgreen's, which happens to be the only place open today except for QT. Seems she is in need of a DR. Pepper among other things, and that since we are both giving it up in seven days we need to go now. On the way we were able to stop and see several people in the ward and I was able express my love and appreciation to them and their family. As we drove to Walgreen's I felt a deep sense of love and comfort and felt the saviors deep and abiding love for myself and my family. It was at this time that I finally felt the love of Christmas. All this time I had been waiting for it to come to me. All that was required of me was to share with someone else, something that they may not be feeling either. Later that night as we were getting ready for bed and tucking them in all of our children expressed their love for us and the overwhelming unity that this was the BEST Christmas ever. As Emma called me into her bed she offered this insight; " I want next year to be just like this one!" and then something to the effect that every day should be Christmas. I then told her that it could be everyday as long as we remember Jesus.
So, this was our Christmas. Nothing extravagant. I think between us Jonna and I got Five books, a scrapbook that all the work had been done, a family Yahtzee game, and some clothes. It is one of the best on record. We are all alive. We are all healthy, with exception of a couple of sniffles here and there. We have a house to live in. We live in a nation that for the time, is still free. We know that the lord loves us for we see evidence of his miraculous love everyday.
My new goal for the new year is to learn something new every day...week...month...well every so often and then share what I've learned. The other day while reading from "To Draw Closer to God" by Henry B. Eyring in the opening pages of chapter two, it talks about accepting guidance and that as we sustain those that are called to lead us, we are in essence sustaing a calling to ourselves to listen to those individuals. "Why does every call to lead in fact call others to listen?" (p 10) I bear witness of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The heavens were opened and a young boy interacted with a supreme being we call our heavenly father. May you be lead to feel that feeling you desire most throughout this Christmas season and in turn carry it throughout the year and share it often. In the name of Jesus Christ my Savior Amen.